What matters most to you in life? What drives your decisions and passions?

Most of us have a handful of core values that we live by. Our values define what is most important to us and guide our behavior. We shape our lives around them, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

Sometimes we learn what our values are in unexpected ways.

Growing up on a farm in Kansas, my family attended a little country church. We would often pray for the missionaries to be safe and for their work to be blessed. 

In reality I had no idea what missionaries even were. But I knew we prayed for them every Sunday.

I was usually engulfed in my own little world, often focusing more on the things I didn’t have rather than what I had. Back then, there was no internet, no cable TV, no cell phones or ipods. Life was pretty simple. 

All I really cared about was whether I was popular at school and how quickly I could get my chores done. I didn’t realize what the rest of the world was like. Faraway places like Africa or China weren’t on my radar.

That all changed the day a “real” missionary came to visit our little church. This gentle man radiated such joy as he explained his work and experiences! He told amazing stories about the people. He described the poverty, yet happiness, of those he was helping.

It was fascinating. Even though I was a self-absorbed adolescent, I realized immediately how blessed I was to have my comfortable  “boring” life. My eyes were suddenly opened to the bigger world around me. My perspective was permanently shifted.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I was forever changed. That experience contributed to the formation of one of my core values: helping others.

I like to think about values at three different levels:

Level 1. Learned values 

Level 2. Surface values

Level 3. Core values – our true deep guideposts

When we’re not living from our core values, we feel out of sync and unfulfilled. Certainly not exhilarated. When I do coaching, I help clients dig down and discover their deeply held core values. 

But why should you care about any of this stuff? Because your core values are a road map for your life!

When you’ve identified your core values, choices and decisions become easier. You don’t have to fret and strain about what to do. You just ask yourself if it fits with your core values.

Not quite clear on what your core values really are?

Try this:

1. Make a list of what is most important in your life. First, think of the obvious things such as family, love or health. Then add some less obvious choices that are unique to you like surfing, adventure, discipline, eating great food, etc. Think about the qualities that guide your life, the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Include about 7 to 10 items on your list.
2. Try to understand the meaning of each item on your list. The idea here is to begin to understand WHY we value certain things. Be TOTALLY honest (this is key!) with yourself. Do you value making money because it gives you security? Do you enjoy cooking because you love being creative? There is no right or wrong answer. Think about how you really feel, not how you “should” feel or how other people tell you to feel.
3. Refine your list. Prioritize your list from most important to least important. Once again, the key is being totally honest with yourself. Make sure you’ve really identified what brings the most meaning and contentment to your life. Congratulations! You now have a working list of your core values.

Keep in mind that refining values is an ongoing process that evolves throughout your life. Your core values may change over time. That’s fine. Be ready to let go of what isn’t working for you anymore.

Following your core values gives you an internal knowing that you are on the right path. Your core values will lead you to finding your true passion and purpose – a life of joy and tranquility.

This is what living with exhilaration is all about!

What does it take to be extraordinary?

I used to think certain people were given special gifts and talents. I thought they were destined to make a difference in the world because they were somehow smarter or better than “average” people like me. 

Now I know we are all just people. We all come into the world the same way. We all put our pants on one leg at a time.

Extraordinary people are simply ordinary people who do extraordinary things. They work hard. They persevere. They’re optimistic and resilient.

Why does it matter if we’re extraordinary?

Because part of living with An Island Perspective means radiating our inner glow to others. Touching other people’s lives in a way that makes them better, happier, stronger. 

You see, exhilarating others exhilarates us too! It feels good.

The journey to an extraordinary and exhilarated life includes helping others. Simple, ordinary and compassionate acts of kindness make for a healthier and more meaningful life. 

But being amazing doesn’t mean you have to have huge, complicated accomplishments. Just apply yourself in a meaningful and useful fashion day in and day out.

So where do you start? What can you do?

It’s amazing how simple it can be. It begins with deciding what you want to focus on, where you want to invest yourself. There are many things you can do without even leaving home. Open your mind and be creative!

Here are 50 ideas. Maybe you would like to try one of these:

1. Become a hospice volunteer.
2. Clean out your closets and donate clothing to Goodwill.
3. Help end hunger by becoming a Heifer volunteer.
4. Babysit one evening for a single mom.
5. Teach a child how to do something.
6. Volunteer to help the Special Olympics.
7. Pick up a hammer and join Habitat for Humanity.
8. Make lemonade for Alex’s Lemonade Stand.
9. Volunteer on a prayer hotline.
10. Visit an elderly neighbor and take a goody.
11. Plant a tree in someone’s name.
12. Volunteer in your church or synagogue.
13. Take groceries to a food pantry.
14. Practice a positive and hopeful mindset.
15. Knit for Kids.
16. Forgive someone who has hurt or mistreated you.
17. Set up a recycling system in your home and workplace.
18. Volunteer at your local hospital.
19. Sponsor a needy child. 
20. Visit someone in a nursing home who never has a visitor.
21. Donate suitcases or teddy bears to foster children.
22. Treat everyone with the same respect and dignity.
23. Bake cookies and have a bake sale for Cookies for Kid’s Cancer.
24. Volunteer to be a Salvation Army bell ringer.
25. Teach a Sunday School class.
26. Mentor a child by becoming a Big Brother/Big Sister.
27. Coach a kid’s sports team.
28. Participate in a food drive.
29. Pick up trash along the road or in a park.
30. Help out in the nearest school classroom.
31. Lend a compassionate ear to a friend.
32. Lend a compassionate ear to a stranger.
33. Become a Red Cross volunteer.
34. Adopt a pet from a shelter.
35. Tithe 10% of your income.
36. Pick up groceries or medicine for a homebound person.
37. Bake a birthday cake for someone with no family.
38. Support our troops. 
39. Teach someone how to read.
40. Become a pet foster parent.
41. Radiate hope with your own special glow and smile.
42. Be a pen pal to a child in need. 
43. Look for the good in everyone.
44. Volunteer at a domestic violence shelter or hotline.
45. Help cook or serve a meal at a homeless shelter. 
46. Make a life-changing loan through Kiva.
47. Participate in a walk or run for charity.
48. Donate blood.
49. Learn first aid and get CPR certification.
50. Change something you see in the world into something better.

Maybe you’re still trying to figure how how you can be extraordinary. If so, try this exercise:

Imagine your best self. How do you aspire to be? How do you want your life to be? What will it take to be the best version of yourself? 

Remember, you are unique and one of a kind. You have a specific purpose that only you can fulfill. Be true and authentic to the real you. Dig deep and find the inspiration and motivation you need.

Then, take action.

When you know what you want to do, do it! I’m not talking about anything spectacular here. Simply be curious enough, creative enough, and consistent enough to follow through on simple things. Try it, whatever it is. If is doesn’t work out, try something different. There is no failure.

Let’s enjoy our journey. Find a purpose beyond personal achievement. By consistently and mindfully doing ordinary things. you will have extraordinary results.

Now go make a difference. Be extraordinary. Exhilarate yourself!

Aren’t we lucky? No matter how old or wise we think we are, we can always learn something new.

My daughter had to travel out of town for business recently. Being a single mom, her only dilemma was what to do with her 12-year-old son. Of course, my husband and I volunteered to fill in.

It’s been a while since my three kids were that age. I had forgotten how many valuable lessons they taught me. Kids really are the best teachers and mentors. They remind us of the things we’ve forgotten as we’ve made our bumpy transition into adulthood.

What can we learn, or should I say re-learn from kids? Here are 6 amazing and effective habits I learned from a week with my grandson:

1. Stop eating when you’re full. I was raised as a member of the clean plate club. You know, all of those starving kids in the rest of the world. Well, guess what? You can quit eating when you’re full and not feel guilty. Eat slowly and enjoy.
2. Take time to play with the dog. Yes, there’s homework to do, a table to set, and any number of chores. But taking a few minutes to play with the dog first helps to unwind from a day’s worth of stress. The world won’t come to an end if you don’t tackle your chores immediately.
3. Don’t waste words. It’s okay to be quiet. There’s no point in meaningless chatter. Or “talking just to hear your head rattle” as my dad used to say. It’s WAY better to listen more than you talk.
4. Completely love whatever you’re doing right this minute. Focus fully on the task at hand. Go ahead and express your jubilation . . . or frustration. You can be intensely curious and passionate about a lot of things, but not everything at once. 
5. Don’t worry about making your bed. In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff. If it feels good to make your bed, then by all means do. If not, let it go. Do the things that matter. 
6. Get excited about the little things in life. Breakfast for dinner, a new CD, Sour Patch candy, fully experience the joy of simple pleasures that put a smile on your face and a song in your heart. See the good things in life. Notice and value everything around you. Everything is fascinating and glorious.

Unknowingly (or maybe he knows!), my grandson is developing a mindset and lifestyle of An Island Perspective. Like the islanders, he seems to have discovered the secret to an enhanced sense of well-being and personal exhilaration.

Maybe being more like kids would make us all better people. They tend to live with unmitigated joy, boundless enthusiasm and a sense of wonder. Sounds like exhilaration to me!

Want to enhance and exhilarate your life? Tap into the gentle and creative wisdom of the closest kid you know. And make sure to take notes!

Step away from the tinsel! Let go of that garland. Take a moment right now to put the holidays in perspective. 

Why now?

Because right now you’re still starry-eyed and full of hope, joy, and good cheer. You’re still excited about getting out the decorations, putting up the tree, baking cookies. Ho, ho, ho!

You and I both know what’s on the horizon. The crazies are lurking just below the surface. That moment when you turn into the big, bad grinch. When you curse the jolly elves and lament the gosh darn commercialism. 

Yes, the hectic holiday season is upon us once again. I don’t know about you. But I can feel myself starting to get all frenzied and frazzled just thinking about all the things I “need” to do. 

While the season is meant to bring peace and good wishes, sometimes the whirlwind of activities and commitments get out of control. Then WE feel out of control. Not a pretty sight.

But this year’s going to be different. Why? Because you’re going to follow these 10 exhilarating tips to keep those holiday crazies at bay.

1. Make a plan. Right now before time slips away, make a list of all the things you need to do. Make sure you’ve got it all down. Now CUT the list in half. Yep, that’s right. In half! Prioritize the things that are most important to you. Choose the ones that give you the most joy with the least amount of work. The rest of the list is gone. Kaputt. (Quick sigh of relief!)
2. Think simple. Now let’s refine your list even more. Forget the fancy, schmancy, elaborate ideas (translate labor-intensive, time-consuming, and costly!). Simplicity is always more elegant and meaningful. Take food. Good food is more than fancy ingredients. It’s the compassion, joy, and energy of the cook that makes a meal fulfilling.
3. Let go of the “should do”s and “have to”s. Cross all those things off your list. When you’re only doing things because you ”have to”, there is at least a smidgeon of resentment that eventually will be tied to it. You might be surprised to learn that the world doesn’t come to an end (and your mother won’t even be mad at you!) if you just don’t do those things. YOU are the one holding yourself prisoner.
4. Pay it forward. Want to energize and revitalize yourself? Any random act of kindness will do. Let someone cut in front of you at the checkout line. Pay for someone else’s meal. Volunteer at a food bank. Visit a nursing home. Ease your holiday stress by giving with no expectation of anything in return. Generosity brings true inner joy.
5. Be flexible with your plan. Everything is not going to go the way you plan. Prepare yourself for this now. Is your list written in stone? Of course not! Accept whatever happens as a divine stroke of luck. Any way that things work out is always for the best . . . eventually. 
6. Practice the “good enough” philosophy. Activate your “easy” button. So company is on their way and the bathroom is a mess. Do a quick swipe of the sink and toilet with rubbing alcohol. Put out fresh towels. And pull the shower curtain shut. Good enough! Apply this principle to all of your chores and feel the stress melt away.
7. Easily forgive yourself and others. The holidays are an opportunity to practice compassion. But sometimes the holidays bring out the worst in families. Examine any unmet expectations of “problem” relatives. Lower the bar. Accept them for who they are - at least for the holidays. You’ll feel amazingly lighter.
8. Everything in moderation. Eating, drinking, spending money. It’s easy to get out of control. Remind yourself that less is more. But if you  do eat an extra cookie. Don’t waste time beating yourself up. Just cut back on treats the next day. Enjoy the simple pleasures of the season. Try not to be too restrictive or get too out of hand. Focus on balance.
9. Take “nurture” breaks. Find a few tranquil moments every day. Give yourself scheduled time to pause and reflect. Take stock of your life. Enjoy a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Read. Do something that makes you smile. Little “treats” to yourself can mean the most in keeping your holiday sane. Take the time to unwind - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And don’t forget to engage your playful side - have fun!
10. Focus on the deeper meaning, whatever that is for you. Mindfully and purposefully, savor the real joy of the season. How? Pick one item in your home that is special to you (creche, candle, figurine, etc.). Look at it and connect a warm, positive thought to it (I am blessed with a great family. I am a tranquil and happy person.) Now whenever you need a moment of peace and clarity, look at that item and feel refreshed and renewed with your joyful affirmation. 

This time of year doesn’t have to be hectic and chaotic. Yes, some days will be tougher than others. But you are the creator of your own stress. If you expect a stressful holiday, that’s exactly what you’ll get.  

Open your heart and let go of that crazy hustle and bustle mentality. You have the power to make a fundamental mind shift. Set a positive intention to connect with your real inner joy and bliss. 

Celebrate the season in serenity with a little tropical tranquility - the peace that comes from living An Island Perspective - every day of the year. 

May you wake up each morning feeling refreshed and renewed, 

totally inspired and invigorated by the new day's light, 

knowing that wonderful things are about to happen. 

May you be as nurturing and gentle with yourself as you are with others.

May you share your pure inner joy and peace all around you, 

radiating hope and light to everyone you meet. 

May you breathe in and fully celebrate each precious moment of your life

while it’s happening, knowing that the present is all we really have.

May laughter permeate your heart, mind, and soul.

May you care less about your outward appearance and acquiring more possessions,

 but more about the beauty and richness inside of you.

May you love truly, deeply and completely with all your heart and soul.

May you give generously and receive joyously, gracefully, gratefully. 

May you feel alive and free to be authentic and true to who you really are.

May you be strong and resilient and know from the bottom of your heart 

that you have within you all that you need to 

create the life you dream and desire.

May you find deep fulfillment and genuine happiness day after day after day, 

fully experiencing and celebrating your life with passion and exhilaration!